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Empowered Communication: The Impact of Submissive, Aggressive, and Assertive Responses

  • Writer: Stefanie Evans
    Stefanie Evans
  • Aug 16, 2023
  • 3 min read

You know, when it comes to talking with others, we all have our unique ways of reacting, especially when things get tricky. Let's take a gentle journey through these response styles – being submissive, aggressive, and assertive – and see how they can impact our interactions and the way we feel about ourselves.


"You must be the change you want to see in the world" - Mahatma Ghandi

The Submissive Side of Things


Ever found yourself taking a step back in a conversation? That's a bit like being submissive. It's when you might put others' needs ahead of your own to avoid any conflict. We might see it as being kind, but it can sometimes mean not speaking up for ourselves. It's like saying "it's okay" even when it's not, and it can leave you feeling like you're not really being heard.


How Submissiveness Can Affect Us


Submissiveness can be a bit like carrying a secret weight. When you're always putting others first, you might end up not getting what you really want or need. And that can leave you feeling not so great, like your own thoughts and feelings don't matter. Sometimes, it can even lead to feelings of guilt or frustration. It's important to know that being agreeable is wonderful, but it's also okay to stand up for what you believe in.


Let's Dive into Aggressiveness


On the flip side, there's aggressive communication. This is when emotions are running high and you might not hold back. It's about pushing your needs ahead, sometimes at the expense of others. It can feel like you're being bold, but it can also mean that you're not really considering how others feel. It's like having a fiery energy that might burn you as well.


Understanding the Impact of Aggressiveness


Being aggressive might seem like a way to make your point, but it often ends up causing more harm than good. It can create a lot of tension and discomfort in relationships. And you know, it's not just about being loud or angry – even passive-aggressive behaviours can fall into this category. Aggressiveness can actually make things more difficult for you and others around you. It's like a storm that leaves a trail of emotional wreckage.


Embracing Assertive Communication


Now, here's a style that's like a breath of fresh air – assertive communication. It's all about finding that balance between speaking your truth and respecting others. Being assertive means expressing yourself in a clear and thoughtful way. It's like saying, "Hey, here's what I think, and I'd love to hear your thoughts too." It's about being strong yet gentle, like a steady breeze.


The Positive Side of Being Assertive


Being assertive is like giving yourself a warm hug. When you communicate assertively, you're valuing your feelings and ideas, while also showing consideration for others. It's like opening up a healthy dialogue, where everyone's perspective is important. And you know what? It's great for your emotional well-being too. It helps you manage stress, keeps you grounded, and builds your self-confidence.


In a Nutshell


So, there you have it – the different ways we communicate, from being submissive and letting things slide, to being aggressive and overpowering, and finally, to being assertive and finding that beautiful balance. Being assertive is like planting a seed of understanding that grows into a strong tree of connection. So, next time you're in a conversation that matters, try being assertive. It's a way of respecting yourself and others, creating harmony in your interactions, and nurturing your own well-being.



Stefanie Evans is the lead Counsellor at Holistic Calm, Kelmscott, WA. Offering a relational approach to the sacred work of coming to know your true self, Stefanie is deeply motivated by helping people to develop skills and insight to overcome significant life challenges and transitions. She works both with couples and individuals, and her approach is integrative, allowing each session to be tailored to individual needs.
 
 
 

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